I was wondering around the internet and came to this interesting article on The Root. It was a list of things that the author wished that white people would stop doing, and I figured as a white man, I would look respond to the items one at a time.
Let me preface this by saying that I realize that I am very ignorant of many things. I did not realize that dreads on white people was viewed as an appropriation of culture. I always saw it as an expression of counter culture. That being said, here are my responses to the list by Yesha Callahan and Danielle Young.
"1. Stop touching our hair. We've asked this about 1,000,001 times."
Shame on anyone touching someone else's hair. We are not 5, and I would hope we would be better than this.
"2. Stop talking like everything is a question. Likeeee, you know?"
I agree with this as well, but in the grand scheme of things, it's a cultural thing, and I should probably not make to many assumptions about people based on how they talk.
"3. Stop bringing your dogs to restaurants. We'd rather not look at your dog lick its privates while we're eating our lasagna."
Again, there is a time and place for your dogs. That being said, and I may be ignorant on this, I never associated this with being a "white" thing.
"4. Stop gentrifying "black" foods. You've had your fun with kale. Do not touch collard greens or sweet potatoes."
This is unfortunately what we do. Most Mexican and Chinese restaurants are not authentic. You could hope that this would help you with your #8 though.
"5. Stop labeling everything a damn trend just because you've never seen it done before. Like, cuts in the eyebrows and "hair tattoos.""
I think for this we need to have more qualifications when we talk. An increase in something among a group could be called a trend, but you need to mention what the group is. Working on a stereotype, you could argue that there was a trend among hipsters to have a beard. Beards have been around for as long as people, but there was an increase in beards among hipsters, and became associated with them. I think being more specific will help make a person's point.
"6. Stop thinking that Adele created soul music. Or Elvis. Or Justin Bieber. Or Jerry Lee Lewis. Or Justin Timberlake. Or Donny Osmond."
Also, Eminem and Beastie Boys did not invent hip hop. If you really like music, look to those who came before your favorite artists. You can enjoy whatever music you want, but try to know where it came from before you make ridiculous statements that your favorite artist was the first of their kind.
"7. Stop screaming "reverse racism." Go talk to Tim Wise, let him school you on that. Just an FYI: It doesn't exist."
We really need to work on how we talk about race relations. It's like the #alllivesmatter movement. Of course all lives matter, that doesn't need to be said. #blacklivesmatter is a movement, because, unfortunately, it does need to be said. It is not an anti-white movement. There are always people in any movement that will want to destroy those outside of the movement, the vast majority of what I have read and witnessed have just wanted to shine a light on injustice, and start a conversation. Denying that there is a problem, and the idea that people "do not see color" is hurting all of us. We need to acknowledge that there are cultural differences, and that these differences are a good thing. All this being said, I have ran into what people would term "reverse racism." There are situations where I have not been taken seriously, or things I said or did were taken out of context because I was white. I also know that this did not happen in a vacuum. I understand that so called "reverse racism" came from having to experience racism. Ideas like #blacklivesmatter, or even Dear White People: Here's a List of Things We'd Wish You'd Stop Doing, are not "reverse racism" they are opportunities to better understand each other.
"8. Stop not seasoning your food. Seriously, why go through life eating bland, gentrified food?"
Let me eat my bland food in peace. This one should not be hurting you.
"9. Stop wishing we'd go back to Africa. This writer's from New Jersey. The other, North Carolina. If you'd like to pay for my flight to Newark Airport via Dulles, then go right ahead."
I am really sorry that this has to be on this list. part of me wants to look up the articles, but I doubt I could get through any of the article without throwing my laptop out a window, which I cannot afford. Who the fuck would say something like that? Unless you are Native American, you are a descendant of immigrants. This makes me sick.
"10. Stop asking, "Where are you from?" And then look at us weird when we name one of the 50 states, and then ask, "No, where are you frommmm? Your family?" Seriously, what do you have against New Jersey?"
I hope this comes from ignorance, and not people being idiots. Ignorance can be fixed with education and discussion. If a person chooses to be ignorant, chooses not to listen to differing views, than they are an idiot, and that is a major problem in the world, and always has been the reason that our world has been slow to change for the better.
"11. Stop mispronouncing names or making fun of names you deem ghetto. At least we don't go around naming our kids "Dick" or "Rusty." How is that pronounced? Dihhh-Ick?"
I'm sorry, but I have trouble pronouncing names I am not familiar with. The more often I am around a name, the better I will be at pronouncing it. As a substitute teacher, I unfortunately mispronounce names all the time. I also have a hard time remembering names. This is not a racial thing, I can't remember any names, and there are times when people thought I was racist because I couldn't remember or pronounce a name. I understand that people purposely mispronounce names to belittle them, but please at least allow for the chance that I'm just bad with names, and have never tried to read your name before. I'm going to go on the assumption that this is about people purposely mispronouncing names, and this is a very different issue, and not something to be taken lightly. This is a way of demeaning someone, and should never be allowed to happen. If you want to find a raciest, find someone who mispronounces Barack Obama's name.
"12. Stop Columbusing the hood and then have the audacity to get mad because the black people who've lived there their whole lives look at you strange. That's the same look Native Americans gave Columbus and 'em."
I think that Columbusing should become a regularly used verb.
"13. Stop ignoring personal space. Seriously, do you take lessons in space invading? If you can read our text messages, you're too close."
As an introvert, I applaud this message.
"14. Stop saying you're not privileged. Clearly you haven't talked to Tim Wise yet, like we suggested in No. 7."
This is probably the most important message in the article. I have been passed up for jobs, gone hungry (eating just over 200 calories a day for three months), and faced other hardships, but it has never once been because of the fact that I was white. People can complain about affirmative action, but until opportunities are truly equal, there are going to be people who try to level the playing field, and that is a good thing.
"15. Stop thinking that everything belongs to you. This is not "your" country. This is everyone's country."
This goes for religion and sexual orientation and identity in addition to race.
"16. Stop thinking that Donald Trump will make "your" country great again. What he will make it is the laughingstock of the world."
Unfortunately he isn't the only raciest politician. It's his lack of subtlety, along with many other events happening lately, help shine a light on the racial tensions that we still have to work on.
"17. Stop thinking you don't have to use lotion. You get ashy, too, and we can see it."
I guess I didn't realize this was a thing.
"18. Stop acting like you didn't see us in line first. Then doing No. 13."
I am really sad this happens, what is wrong with people that they think they can cut in front of anyone. It's even more pathetic if they do it because they are raciest.
"19. Stop blowing your nose at the dinner table. That's gross, and the rest of us just lost our appetites. But we guess since you do No. 3, we shouldn't expect anything less."
I'm sorry, I try to be subtle with it, but if I want to be able to sit down and eat with my family, and not have to leave the table every 5 minutes, or have snot on my face and food, I have to do this. I understand it is rude, and I will work on this.
"20. Stop getting mad when we celebrate blackness. Do you feel left out or nah? We don't hate you; we just love ourselves. #Blackityblakblakblakblak."
And don't pretend that having a white history month, or #alllivesmatter is celebrating whiteness, because, while black history month and #blacklivesmatter are not anti-white, white history month and #alllivesmatter are.
"21. Stop telling us about your one black friend. We're sure that he or she doesn't go around bragging about his or her one white friend."
It also doesn't prove you aren't raciest.
"22. Stop being racist, stop killing us and stop trolling black websites. Yes, we know it's been ingrained in your system for centuries. But believe us, it's not cute. We can spot y'all a mile away. It's 2016; you'd think by now you would have found another hobby."
Please. Having a deep and meaningful conversation is good, and will help us move forward together as a society, but don't be a troll. I really would expand it beyond "black websites" but as this article, (I assume), is meant to start a conversation about race, it makes sense.
All of these thoughts are my own, and come from my own, flawed and ignorant, but well meaning place. I am a white male in my mid 30's who has spent most of my life in school. This coming fall will be the first that I will not be in school as a student (I will hopefully be in a school as a teacher). I love to learn, and welcome any comments on my thoughts.
