desert island

RT @DeStorm: if you were stranded on an island and only can take 5 items and invite 2 people, what would you take and who would you bring?

Well, the people would be BB and Katie. The items...is there electricity and cell service? If so, my phone, my DS, a book (10 games to take to space or something like that. It's a book with 10 games that only use colored tokens (checkers was one for example)), a knife and a towel. If there is power but no cell service, switch my phone for my laptop. If there is no power, the phone and DS are out. I would add a deck of cards and my Dora flashlight (it's one that doesn't take batteries, avon used to sell them)

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The internet is for...?

Reciently there has been an outporing of support for Katie, a young Star Wars fan that had been teased for liking something that was for "boys". The internet picked up on the story and ran with it. All of the sudden gnorks of all shapes and sizes had heard the call to arms. The whole event was like "a therapy session" for those of us that had been picked on or felt invisible. It was a call to be proud of who you are. People admitted their own desire to hide their "Star Wars water bottles" from people they just met. Her tail helped many to tell a little girl what they wished someone had told them when they were young. It also has inspired people to be proud of who they are. To step into the light and announce to the world that they are proud of who they are and not worry about what others say about it.
It is times like this that I am proud to be a part of something. A few months ago there was another little girl who found out she had to get glasses. She too was worried about being teased, but people came together and sent her pictures of women rocking their glasses. The women were comfortable and confident in the pictures and there were plans to create a website to show other little girls it's ok to wear glasses.
Like everything else, in a week or two people will forget about Katie. The other girl didn't get the fame of Katie, and I'm sure many of the women who sent in pictures have already forgotten about it. The people of Haiti and even New Orleans have lost the attention of most who seemed to be so passionate about the troubles after the tragedies occurred. There have been places all over the world that have had major events destroy their way of life that are now completely forgotten. There was major news coverage when the Episcopal church elected a homosexual bishop. He and his husband have been bullied and threatened by closed minded people and he recently announced his retirement. He said that the stress has taken its toll on him and his husband.
We bully and forget. As a society we have adhd. I am just as bad. Unless it affects me personally, I don't always do what I can to "be the change I want to see in the world". My own problems weigh down on me. They seem so much bigger than anyone elses even when I know they could not even come close to comparing to the problems others face. Maybe that's how we're "wired", but that does not excuse our actions (or lack there of).
I'm not entirely sure what this rant is getting at, if reading it will make any sense, or if it will even be read. But these are the thoughts going on in my head and that's the point of a blog isn't it?
#maytheforcebewithKatie and may the force be with all of us

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Crazy Awesome Anima Dream

Crazy awesome dream I just had. Sorry if it doesn't make mush sense, I wrote it half asleep to keep as much of it as I could. Also, I term dreams where I find my fetching lass "Anima" dreams, after the female half of the soul.

I took over as “The Doctor” at a haunted castle playing the part of one of the ghosts that inhabit the castle. I took over for my Grandpa who could sell ketchup popsicles to a woman in white gloves (IRL too, he is one charismatic person). The people in charge of the whole operation were interested in history so we would continuously study the old texts and other things found around to make the story being portrayed as accurate as possible. There was also an aspect of theater to the hotel as people would pay a lot of money to stay there up to a week. Because of this, we would often tweak the story to get make the truth most interesting. The details are never in the texts, exactly what people said or felt, so we would also throw in things that were entertaining, and in character, but not provable. The ghosts were real though. One of the other workers was trying to gain power, he wanted to be in charge when the people running things retired. I was charismatic and made friends easy so he was trying to get rid of me. I found new video of what had happened in the past (which was before video but this was a dream) This found me favor and more work from the people in charge. Seeing me as a threat he tried to get in my way at every opportunity. He ended up getting me shot with an arrow, although he himself also got shot. We were supposed to have fake arrows. Somehow that didn't hurt and I found a camera on one of the arrows that had the video in it. It helped prove that the suspected murderer of a woman did not actually do it. He loved her and was about to purpose to her. We had a meeting after this and I noticed that the camera he had he stole from the castle. I also got a job of checking with the written documents what was going on in the video. This was a prestigious job and got one of the workers mad. He used to get all the high prestige jobs, and had already been loosing them to his nephew (the one trying to take over) and now this. We had a video of reenactments that we would show the guests and during it a woman in charge would pick and choose from different sections to show. It was impressive and I really wish I could describe it better. The machine malfunctioned and all of the clips were showing at once, so we got the guests to their rooms. We then had a cast dinner and the guy trying to be in charge revieled that he got everyone tickets to an exclusive club for the night. It didn't sound right to me so I said I wasn't going. They barged into my room while I was changing and tried to talk me into going but I wasn't going to. I then went for a bike ride into town, crossing over some really thin bridges, walking me bike across. I ended up at a mall and ran into a fetching lass. She had different color streaks in her hair, a cute face, and mischief in her eyes. She and the people she was with knew how to break into the game cabinets at the stores so we each got something. I ended up with a DS with a steering wheel on it that came with a Donkey Kong game? As I we were leaving, I was the last one out and took the alarm thing off and put it in my bag just as someone was coming out of another door. For some reason each section of the store was in it's own room. Everyone else was a few steps ahead and disappeared. I gave the fetching lass my bag and had her hide while I smoothed things over with the woman who worked at the store. I was flirting with the woman and inviting her to derby and the fetching lass because jealous and came over and kissed me. I had her go a head and took her I would be with her in a second and told the worker my girlfriend was a bit jealous, but the worse she would do was pee on my leg (an expression I use for people that make-out with their so in public so show that the other person is there with them. This is usually when they feel that someone else is trying to court them) So the fetching lass and I went back to the castle. The fetching lass revieled that the gang of people (the street rats) were planning on robbing the place that night. The ghosts appeared in the foyer and started questioning my intentions living there. The first two were the couple from the film. The man wanted to make sure that we weren't going to drag the woman's name through the mud. She had had a checkered past and he was fine with the story the way it was because it protected her. The fetching lass then confessed that she had stolen something from the castle in the past. She had found a ring, which she got out of her bag. She said she was never able to sell it (everything in the castle was cursed and no one was ever able to sell anything from it, but she didn't know that). She said that it was her hope that some day someone would be able to see through what she did, she was a street rat because she had to steal to survive (Aladdin anyone?) The doctor came to our defense showing up and revealing that the foyer was protected by a truth field and no one could lie in it. The woman ghost also said that she understood the fetching lass and she could keep the ring which was the ring the male ghost had bought to purpose to the female ghost. Then the guy trying to take over came in and the ghosts vanished. They didn't like him. He said he was going to turn the fetching lass in, he had heard the end of the conversation. I then proceed to get him to admit that there was going to be a robbery tonight. I told him that he would be great at running things (also getting him to admit that was his goal), and the woman he loved (who also worked there and was helping me uncover what was going on) loved him (this was proven more by the fact that she had been filling him in on what was going on behind his back) but had spurned his advances because he was being a dushe. Then the guy trying to take over's Uncle came in. I got him to admit that he was trying to take over, as well as trying to set up his nephew. The nephew confronted his uncle. The uncle tried to say I was pitting them against each other and that I really wanted to take over. He relieved that the reason that I was picked to play the role of the doctor and greet guests at the door was that I was able to play on people's preconceptions and give them a false impression without lieing. When the nephew asked if this was true, if I really wanted to be in charge I said “no”. There was no twisting of words possible. I was happy interacting with people. There my ability to play with people's minds was what they were paying me to do. They wanted to be entertained, they weren't as worried about the truth. I had my room and all my meals paid for, all of the money I made was extra, I had no expenses, and never had to worry about things. I really didn't want to be in charge. Hearing all of this the nephew had a change of heart and tried to call off the “rats”. I then had a conversation with the fetching lass and invited her to stay after getting her to admit she had no where to go. The rats came in anyway, trying to make more money. The ghosts came and scared them off, but not before seeing “Raccoon” (the fetching lass's “street name”) and vowing to get her. They also left behind “Squarl” who was often the patsy. The fetching lass agreed to stay as long as her friend Squirl got to stay too. I was cool with that and got them a room together. I went the next morning to let the owner know what was going on, but he already knew, with the kind that originally owned the place hanging out with him. So everything was cool. I started to work the next morning and there was a guy acting suspicious. My new friends (the fetching lass and Squirl) were going on the tour too. When they ducked off to go to the bathroom, the guy went to follow them. I told him that the men's bathrooms were a different way and sent him into one of the haunted rooms. Most of the rooms were haunted in the place, and I knew most of the ghosts. The girl (who was now dating the nephew) went off to check on the girls, and I had someone else take over the tour. The room I sent him to was “Jerry's” room. Jerry was the doctors brother, and also beyond crazy. He had killed the doctors wife and then himself, but the doctor knew that it was a good person, just had psychological problems. He tried to hide him in the castle, visiting him at least once a week. I had continued this tradition, to keep him in check, and also knowing that the poor guy meant well. We questioned the assassin (who had been mumified by Jerry in duct tape) and got him to agree to tell the rats that he had “made road kill of Raccoon and Squirl” Everyone then lived happily ever after (I assume because I woke up at that point. The dream is so awesome if that was the case)

Taking Responsibility

I just found out today that the person who's dog attacked my dog and set me back almost $1500 is trying to get away with not paying anything. I have all the paperwork and the wife accepted responsibility and said they would pay for the vet costs to a police officer, so I have a pretty solid case, but they are just not willing to accept responsibility. So here I am, looking into what it takes to get my money. I decided that if he was going to be an ass about it I would throw in the expenses that my aunt had suggested from the beginning. The time I missed from work, hell I'm sure there could be pain and suffering charges for what happened. My dog had an eye popped out of his head. It was not a fun experience for either of us.

I've noticed this other places too. I got a ticket for my mother's tail light being out. I was on my way to work in Utah, so I asked if she could take care of it. She owes me thousands of dollars so she said it would be no big deal. Well when I got back, after a summer of driving a government truck, she informed me that my license had been suspended for a month. I got pulled over driving home from work one day after that. I was unable to get a ride so I took a chance. It ended up costing me $2500. I went to court and accepted responsibility, even though I thought the whole process was ridicules. While I was there, a guy was fighting a drunk driving ticket. A drunk driving ticket! are you kidding me!?! If I get caught drunk driving, lock me up and throw away the key. How the hell do you get away with that? Why do you think you should? You knowingly put yourself in a position where you could have hurt or killed someone! I was talking to the person who drove me up there (they suspend your license for an extra month in the hopes of catching you again) after, and she told me about the process some people go through to get away with drunk driving. They keep putting the date off (that was what the guy's lawyer was doing, getting a later date). Apparently if there is no sentence after a certain period of time, they just drop it. Just drop it! What the fuck! Why the fuck is this allowed?!? Why can't people just accept responsibility for their actions? Why do people try to get away with this shit?

Now I admit, when I was a kid I tried to get away with little things, I lied about taking a cookie and all of that, and I'm sure I've done things like that since then. But when it comes to affecting someone else (or potentially doing so) I accept what I've done. Like with the $2500 ticket, even when I disagree with the law, I broke it none the less and that is the punishment that was decided. I wasn't driving my dieing S.O. to the hospital when no one else was around like one of the people before me. I plead guilty and got raped up the ass to pay off the bill, but I did. If I make a major mistake, I own it. In undergrad, I was not the best student, and my grades reflected that. I had the chance to have other people write papers for me or do other work, but I earned my grades for better or worse. It is the same way in life. When you make a mistake you earned the punishment, just like you earned the reward for doing well. What is with people!?!

Well, I was invited to the bar, sounds like a better plan than sitting here ranting in circles lol

Conversations and thoughts on gender roles

Had an interesting conversation today about work that got me thinking about gender roles in our society. We were talking about having children. One of the girls I work with no longer wants any more children. She has two already and does not want to have any more so she is having surgery to make sure she doesn't have any more. The guy I was working with said he was to old to raise any more kids. When I mentioned the fact that my future career could have me gone every summer they didn't seem to think that would be an issue. The guy even said "if you're making enough money and the mother is at home..." This blew my mind. I would not feel comfortable trying to have a child if I was not there to help raise the little one. How is a phone call/webcam enough interaction to consider myself a father? It seems like that is all that is expected of a father in a significant portion of society. I just don't get it.

Later in the night I was talking to a very feminist friend and heard something almost as absurd. I was telling her to make her and a mutual friend made sure to make a friend of mine comfortable in a class they have together because my friend had been stressing out. She said it sounded like a "mom" thing to say. When I jokingly pointed out the fact that that was playing to gender roles she said that she would give her daughter a football and have her son bake. While this is all well and good, why is there a push to switch gender roles? In a class I had on gender, one of the readings mentioned how there were archaeologists trying to find a matriarchy to help create a modern one. This is not the way to go about things. Switching what group has power isn't an improvement. There are instances of more egalitarian societies that should be our model. Making men women and women men won't fix anything. If a girl wants to play football (or be really cool and play hockey. Man Kim Martin is an awesome goalie. I hope they really make a WNHL) than by all means, incourage her to be who she wants. But putting a football in her hands and discouraging her from baking will not make the world a better place. Teaching your son how to bake is a usefull skill (and I hear helps in courtship, although it hasn't helped me yet), but keeping him out of sports should not be what you try to do. It seams just as bad to me as forcing him into them. I believe in incoutaging your child to be who they want to be, not forcing them to conform to society or to become an example of changing gender roles. If you teach your child respect, the rest should fall into place. If your son wants to play football and hunt and thinks farts are funny that's fine, what you should be more worried about is how he treats women. If he bakes and crochetts and thinks he's better than women because of it what was gained? If a girl doesn't want to play football and you make her, how does that make her life any better. If she is passionate and wants to play because she enjoys the game, do everything in your power to help her achieve her goals.

Now I understand that we shape who our children are before we have any idea who they will end up being. I know the colors of the room and the toys they have will shape them in ways that we may never fully understand. When we choose an action figure or a doll we are shaping who they will become. I also know that being a parent is tough, probably harder than I even realize because I don't have children of my own (although I have borrowed some from time to time lol) I also realize that there are going to be other influences in the child's life, that you do not have control over all of the images that your child takes in. I guess I'm just ranting, with no real purpose and no real solutions, but that's what blots are for isn't it hahaha

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